My Non-Traditional Wedding
Updated: Feb 14, 2024
A lot of persons are scared to deviate from the norm when it comes on to important events in their lives, especially weddings. Who said you have to get married in a church, in a white dress, be swayed down the aisle by your Father or have a traditional set up, tables and chair and all? Who said your wedding had to be
Anything can have a special meaning. It doesn't have to follow suit. In fact, weddings often feel the most special when it's a unique blend of likes that are personal to the couple.
There were quite a few things that my husband didn't want at our wedding. Firstly, he hated the thought of having seating charts and formal seating arrangements. He said he wanted his guests to feel involved and part of a celebration. I couldn't argue with that. Secondly, he hated the idea of printed invitations. If we could have printed the programs, I am sure he would have. It was fun to say the least planning and having my husband input on things. Most men would rather just be told what was happening and when to show up.
We have been planning this wedding for so long. Truth be told, it can get frustrating and it will start arguments. Oh yes, trust me, you will fight. The most important thing to remember is that the wedding is about the bride and groom. Ensure your plans are favorable to just the both of you.
We had the most patient and creative planner. Sher Alecia Productions worked with us from start to finish. She listened to both our ideas and yes, my husband had a lot to contribute the wedding, and she gave us honest opinions and the best solutions.
Also, vendor selection is very important. Include your spouse on the ideas you have and the potential persons you wish to execute same. Ensure you have the conversation with your spouse about budgeting and financials as it relates to your wedding. Share the same information with your planner and do this together. Spend wisely. Remember the day is all about you.
A few tips from our BIG DAY that may help you or the next bride-to-be:
Having a planner - although your wedding is supposed to be a day of celebration filled with love and joy, it can also be overwhelming and stressful. A planner's role is to help couples plan and execute their wedding from budgeting to selecting venue to managing vendors to the day's coordination. We had the most amazing planner.
With my husband and I busy schedules and lack of time, she was able to fill the gaps and fill us in on all the information necessary. She worked within our budgets, helped us to find the most affordable vendors and coordinate rehearsals as necessary.
It
Choosing a venue - we didn't go the traditional route of getting married in a church. My husband and I visited several venues together before choosing Caymanas Golf Club. This is also a very fun and intimate part of planning your wedding. I am sure you dreamt of this day, looking at venues with your groom-to-be.
We wanted a venue with no restrictions. One where we could transform the venue into the perfect wedding spot. Imagine a venue where you could add everything you ever wanted without being restricted? We wanted an outdoor wedding, brunch style, but the rain had other plans. We got the chance of having the ceremony outside but we had to move the party inside. As people would say, rain only stop cricket. We had a grand time nonetheless.
Theme and colors - While themes are personal, you don't have to have one. We didn't really have a theme. We just wanted our wedding to be "Brunch and Bougie" and we got that somewhat minus the rain. An important point to note, you won't always get what you wished for. Don't panic. Laugh about it next year on your first anniversary.
We chose Brunch style as it is less formal from the norm and we get to hang out with our guests like we always do. Our wedding literally consisted of close knitted family and friends so imagine the CELEBRATION we had.
Our colors were royal blue and silver, and guess what? My husband chose the colors. You rarely find men participating in choosing the color scheme for weddings and I had zero problems. He wanted to deviate from the black, white and grey groom suits and wanted some color. Don't be afraid to be extra. It makes it more fun for you, your partner and your guests.
Choosing your Bridal Squad - Believe it or not, bridesmaids make your wedding fun and entertaining. Don't feel pressured in choosing persons because you feel you have to. You don't have to include family or friends if they don't align with what you want for your day. You don't need to choose someone because you were apart of their big day. This day is about you and what you want. Half of the fun is being able to celebrate with your closest friends by your side serving as bridesmaids and groomsmen.
Choose persons who are reliable. Although you may not need them to participate too much in planning, there are moments when you will need them to show up. My bridal party really showed up for me when I needed them the most.
Choose persons who have personalities that gets along with everyone. Persons who are willing to execute the crazy ideas you have for them to do without putting up a fight. My bridal party had to dance and everyone chipped in and played their part well.
Be mindful too of the budget. Being a bridesmaid or groomsman can be very expensive so take in consideration persons' pockets.
Invitation - We had to get with the time. It would probably cost us an arm and a leg to print so many paper invitations in addition to purchase envelopes and seals. In this technological era, an invitation doesn't have to be posted in the mail.
We sent out e-invites and created our own website to which guests could RSVP (https://www.zola.com/wedding/nicholasandisheka) We shared our engagement video and photos here as well.
Choosing a dress - I knew I wanted to get my dress made by Cochen Bridal from the get go. I knew exactly what I wanted my dress to look like. If you know me, the dress had to be SEXY. Despite choosing my dress vendor beforehand, I still wanted the experience of dress fitting with my girls. We went for a day out trying on dresses and making comparisons.
I wanted a 2 - in - 1 dress. I didn't want the hassle of having to change in a second dress for the reception. Brides, it is also important that you choose vendors who stand in your greatness and not just want your money. Vendors who gives options. I was hell bent on wearing a white dress when I go to Chenel, but instead, she gave me options that would suit my skin tone and fit my wedding theme.
Chenel also made by bridesmaids' and my mom's dresses. I allowed my bridesmaid to choose among themselves the style for the dress. It's good when you can allow them to feel included.
Nobody saw my dress until the wedding day. Everyone got a first look, including the groom and our parents.
My talented designer and her mom ensured I was fixed to the T on my day, and to make me more appreciative, it was Mama Cochen's birthday and she made me priority.
Choose your vendors wisely.
Photography - As a social media guru, my planner knew she had to get a photographer whose skills are above and beyond. Yhomo Photography delivered exceptional photos and a video I will cherish forever. I also had my good friend Daniel, who came all the way through for me. Staring at these pictures and watching the videos made me feel like I could live this moment again.
Keep your wedding short and entertaining - Don't have your guests waiting for long hours. Plan entertainment during the waiting period. Keep your guests alive.
At our wedding ceremony, bridal party danced in to 'I am in a big Mood' with popular dance moves. This had our guests dancing too. I was swayed down the aisle by a saxophonist playing 'Nervous by John Legend'. Marlon, gave me exactly what I wanted on that saxophone.
Our reception was fun, short and spicy. My bridal party danced in to 'My woman, My Everything' and we danced and sang in to 'Moment For Life'.
The toasts were spicy and to the point. Remember to warn your guest about timelines for the toasts and speeches. We want to have time for the after party,
Our MC, Markland Edwards, was fantastic. He kept the guests engaged with activities, games, jokes, etc.
Please Note
The wedding is about you and your partner. Your wedding reflects the couple. Have fun planning and getting things together. Communicate and ensure each party has their input.
Here's a small video of how our first look went.
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