My First Pregnancy

For those who are wondering, yes I'm planning to have more. One more, perhaps.

My Fiancé ( yes, I'm engaged) and I were not ardent in having children. Well, not yet atleast. We've been together for 10+ years, might seem like a lot of time spent with one man but if you have a high school sweetheart, you know it aint so.

This was one of those "buck up" pregnacies as we Jamaicans would call it. But was it really? Frankly, Nicholas and I know the exact moment and time it happened. The same year, little after we buried his Grandma, I found out I was pregnant. Persons would say it's God's way of filling that void left of losing a loved one.

I was not ready for a child, but did I freak out? No. To be honest, I dont know why I was so calm about it. I had all the pregnancy symptoms but I refused to believe I was actually pregnant. His mom would force us to take a pregnancy test. Its like she knew.

I remember that day in April when we bought the pregnancy test and when I got home, Nick was so eager. Went into the bathroom, took the test, came out, "babe, we're pregnant." None of us panicked, strange right? He asked me what I wanted to do. I looked at him like "We're having this baby." Exactly what he wanted to hear.

It was bittersweet.

We weren't ready but we were ready.

I told maybe three persons that same afternoon. My Mother-in-law, whose reply was "I told you so" with all the excitement to follow.

Then my Father-in-law who was also excited in being a first time Grandpa.

But then, the third person didn't seem so excited for us but that's all for another blog post.

The hardest part was telling my Mom. Yes, you read that right. MY MOTHER. I started to panic. What if she's disappointed? I broke down to my fiance.

"I don't have a job, I don't have a house, what if we can't provide? Babies are bat shit expensive." He hugged me, "we will be okay, I got you"

I still have to tell Mommy.

I prayed so hard.

We drove to my parents house. I was cooking how to tell my mom the news in my head the whole car ride. I was going crazy.

I finally spilled the beans. My Dad was excited, my mom, not so much. She said nothing. Absolutely Nothing. "I've failed her, she hates me." Tears ran down my dark cheeks . She said. nothing about ny pregnancy for weeks. We would have conversations but nothing about me being pregnant.

Weeks passed and I decided to give it another shot. "Maybe she didn't hear what we were saying" I tried to find some excuse. We gave it another shot and she was elated. Maybe we had to give her time to process. Every week was a gift for our little one. I ran out of space to keep all these gifts and we were no where ready for a baby shower. Mom was the panic buyer and not me.

I prayed a small prayer. I even prayed for the person who was not happy for us when we shared our news.

Support is and was tremendous. At times I'm still im shock that I'm a Mom. I'm kicking ass. The Unfiltered Boss Mom Story.

How did you find out about your first pregnancy? Were you ready? Did you have it all planned out?